Starting Over

*Repost – I’m still here. Something new to follow soon.*

I know my blogging has been pretty much dead for the last couple of months, and I know for a few months before that – when I was still blogging – it wasn’t anything great. I remember telling all of you how much I wanted to take a break from blogging because my heart just wasn’t in it anymore. Life had taken me for one too many rides and I just needed some time

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The truth of the matter is that my blog was beginning to stress me out. I felt like I was under pressure to POST SOMETHING EVERY DAY because that had been my goal. However, eventually my goal and enjoyment had become my nightmare. I started shying away from actually writing a post, and found myself “re-blogging” a lot more than I have ever have before. So, it was definitely time to take a break.

Well, whenΒ  I wanted to get back to blogging, life became quite tumultuous for a while, disrupting my, so to speak, blogging ‘comeback’. My brother was involved in an accident at work that left him heading to the emergency room with a crushed left hand. He lost half of his middle and ring fingers, but the real pain has been emotional. I rollercoaster ride that I’ve been taken on is nothing compared to what he had to go through, and will continue to go through for many months to come.

My brother is a musician in every sense of the word. He oozes music, and he lives to play. He has a huge drum set, keyboards and probably a dozen guitars. The revelation that he may never be able to play the same way that he used toΒ  was a tough one for him to take. He still hasn’t quite coped, and I can tell that there is a dark cloud hovering over him that will probably outlast the healing process. I’m certain he’ll be able to play again, it will just take a little bit of re-learning what he already knows. But trying to see the positive when it’s you who lost two fingers is another story entirely. I just hope that he has the strength to keep a level head throughout this whole process. He may have lost two fingers, but the oil rigs can be a dangerous place to work. I just hope that he can appreciate what he didn’t lose.

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I wish I could say that the tumult ended there, but I can’t. My brother is healthy and well; he is not going to die. I was over the shock of it shortly after I heard the news, and while I have thought about him in the last couple of weeks, I haven’t felt too stressed or depressed because I know that he will survive. No matter what else happens, this hand injury is not going to kill him. Taking everything I just told you into consideration, I think that it is safe to say my brother’s accident didn’t really hinder my efforts to get back into blogging. They my have delayed this process for a day or two, but not for weeks.

The real disruption to my blogging revolved around my sister and the immense sadness and stress I’ve been feeling for the last few weeks. You see, a few days after my brothers accident, my sister phoned me to tell me that she had been at a doctor’s appointment to remember. Her doctor discovered a small lump on her chest and, upon further examination, discovered that was, in fact, a tumour in her breast.

I really can’t explain to you the shock, fear and horror that I felt in that moment. Who would’ve thought that one second in time filled with half a dozen words would cause so much grief. At this point, her doctor was in no position to know whether the tumour was cancerous or not. All that she could do is refer my sister to a surgeon, who would have to take a closer and more thorough examination – whatever it is that surgeons do to determine this stuff.

I found waiting for her diagnosis extremely difficult. It really made me stop and think about life and death in ways that I never have before. My sister has always been one of my closest friends and I would be absolutely devastated if something were to happen to her. Especially since she is living across the country from me and I would be in no position to help her at all. I tried to be positive, but it seems like it is always the worst-case scenarios that come to mind in times like these. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t bothered by these thoughts.

It really did interrupt a lot of my time. I found it was harder to do anything once I got home from work because my mind would focus in on what was going on with her. It’s definitely hard to deal with.

Last Friday my sister was able to see a surgeon. It is with immense relief and joy that I can say she is – as of this moment – cancer free. Her tumour is benign and not growing. Yet.

The yet is what frightened me. This surgeon told my sister that now that she has one tumour, more can quickly develop (over night) and while it is benign right now, there is a chance (not too high, but high enough) that it could become cancerous. I guess we have to wait it out and see what happens. For now, though, my sister is healthy and she does not have cancer.

So, it is with some peace of mind that I invite you all back to my blog. Please believe me when I say I am back to blogging, and I do have some great plans for the future and for my writing. But, for today, I want to say a big thanks to all of my loyal readers. You guys are amazing.

Before I go, I want to share with you this song, which kind of sums up how I feel right now.

Thanks for reading.

Till Next,

-Will

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Categories: Family, Life, The Soundtrack Of My Life | 23 Comments

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23 thoughts on “Starting Over

  1. When blogging becomes a chore, then step back. Blog because you want to, not because you have to or that you have to produce every day. I send my prayers for your family. All will be well. we go through lulls in writing sometimes, You do well in your writing. It isn’t a crime if you take some time off. I don’t post every day, but when I do it is meaningful to me and hopefully my readers.

    Stay Strong young man. tragedies usually come in threes. at least everyone has their lives and not dying. have faith. it will all come out in the wash.

    Jeremy

  2. Hey, man. i missed the regular posts, so I’m glad you’re back. Your family is in my prayers!

  3. toriascribbles

    Been off blogging for various reasons maybe not as tough as yours but I’m happy all is well now. My regards to your brother, I cant imagine what he is feeling. Hopefully I’ll be back very soon. Keep writing dear and I’ll try my best to read. much love.

  4. Oh, man, I send you my sympathies. I have two brothers and I know how close you can be with your siblings and how much they can mean to you. I hope they both are able to recover from their personal tragedies soon, and I hope to see more blogs from you soon as well!

    • Thank you so much! Your support means a lot to me. You’ve been so kind to me since we ‘met’. πŸ˜‰

  5. I’m glad you’re back! That’s a lot to deal with, and I hope everything starts to get better for you soon! Don’t worry about blogging every day, quality is a lot better than quantity, and it’s a lot less stressful too. πŸ™‚

    • Well I only started blogging everyday because I LOVED it and I had so much to blog about…that it kind of became a staple for my blog. At one point, I had a few readers that EXPECTED a new blog every day. But here we are, a month since my last post, and it’s my most loyal readers who are back, not the ones who kept EXPECTING. So, I say thanks to you for encouraging instead of expecting. Your positivity has been amazing!
      That bit aside, how have YOU been lately?!

      • I think the most important thing is that you love it. And that you think of things that you want to write about that excite you, rather than it being a chore. I kind of figured that out with one of my books recently because writing it just feels like a chore because I want to finish it so badly because I’m so close, but I just can’t right now. My heart isn’t in it, so I’m working on a different book that I have so many ideas for, which I think is important because you can tell because the writing is different if you’re more passionate about it, you know?

        I’ve been good, just so busy with work! I’ve been horrible at blogging lately, so I haven’t been around much either. I also failed to do the July version of NaNo, but I guess it’s never too late to start? It’s just not the same as the real thing, haha.

  6. Oh my goodness, Will. So much has happened in your life. I’ll think of you and your family and send up prayers. I’m sorry about your brother’s hand. I can understand your roller coaster feelings. I’m glad your sister is cancer free. Take all the time you need to heal. Your family is more important. I’m glad you’re there for them.

  7. That’s a terrible shame that you and your family have gone through so much misfortune – hoping here from Aus that, as we say, “She’ll be right” from now on and upward. Glad to hear your written voice across the web once more. The writing should help you sort it out for yourself. All the best, I truly mean that. You have a good heart and you deserve it. I’m looking forward to reading more πŸ™‚ Jay.

  8. So sorry to hear about all that has happened. In times like this it helps me to hear, ‘Everything is going to be alright.’ So, I will say that to you… EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT, WILL! God watches over us through it all, I believe, and I know he is watching over you and your family. Think on the blessings and not the What Ifs. And keep writing. πŸ™‚

  9. Will, I understand a lot about what you posted. Life does definitely get in the way of the things we want to do. First and foremost, I think it’s important to do what you love because you love doing it, not because you have to do it. I used to sew and really enjoyed it. I took on the chore of making a bridesmaid dress and two flower girl dresses back in 2005. Doing it because I had to took all the joy out of it – I haven’t sewn since. My goal when I started my blog was to post everyday – I quickly decided that wasn’t realistic for my lifestyle and assured myself that it was okay if I didn’t.

    Remembering that nothing in life is forever helps us to appreciate what we have right now. Show your family how much you love them every day. That way when they are no longer with us, they will be missed but you won’t have any regrets.

    Praying for you and your family.

  10. You are back!!!!!!!! πŸ™‚
    I am sorry for what you’ve been through, life can be definitely rough sometimes.
    Give my love to your brother and sister.
    And you are back!!!!! Yay!!! πŸ™‚
    Hugz β™₯

  11. Reblogged this on Messages From My Life.

  12. Shauna

    Welcome back! And good luck to your brother and sister. Glad he’s healing and that she’s cancer free! πŸ™‚

    • Thank you! Hey, how did your Dark Crystal thing go? Any word back yet? πŸ™‚

      • Shauna

        No, not yet. Apparently they received almost 500 entries and will announce the short list on March 1st. πŸ™‚

        • Oh wow. Well, good luck to you. Do they do a long list as well? Or no. And when they pick the short list, will they want to get something else from you?

        • Shauna

          As far as I know they just do a short list. And it’s really short – it’ll be five people. Those five will get editorial feedback and will have to revise their stories; I think they’ll also have to send in an outline of what the rest of the story would be. πŸ™‚

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