For those of you that don’t know, I work part-time as a Dietary Aide at a retreat and conference centre, called Queen’s House. I’ve been working there for about seven months now, and I absolutely love it.
However, I also work about once a week at a Taco Tine restaurant. I used to work a whole lot more there, but once I got the job at Queen’s House I cut back to one shift a week at Taco Time. Well, geez, I make it sound like an addiction. And it kind of is.
I’ve been working at Taco Time for about four and a half years, I really like my boss and I’m head supervisor (unless I work with my boss, I’m in charge), so I didn’t want to just throw that away, if that makes sense. Of course I make more money at Queen’s House, but Taco Time is a great fall back in case I ever need a job because my boss has been so good to me. A lot of the other coworkers don’t like me that much – because I’m kind of a hard-ass and don’t put up with any crap. No phones, time-to-lean-time-to-clean type attitude – but my regulars pretty much adore more 😉 , and I guess you don’t stick around for four and a half years if you’re bad – especially when more people have been fired than those that actually quit.
So, anyway, I’m still working at Taco Time, if only once a week, and I know that after all the years I’ve been there, I should not be surprised by customers – but, sometimes, the level of stupidity that I encounter can still shock me.
(Photo Credit: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5x1lyVk9W1rqrf25o1_500.jpg)
In my time, I’ve seen it all – at least, I hope I have. I don’t think I’d be able to take much more different kinds of stupid. I’ve served my fair share of drunk, high and loaded people (as long as they’re not disturbing anyone, I don’t refuse service – mostly because I don’t want to have to deal with some pissed off drunk guy).
And of course you’ll run across the ones who just want to get free food:
Customer: “Hi there. I ordered a beef taco, but it didn’t have any beef in it. I think you should give me a new one that actually has beef.”
Me: (As I’m thinking this is BS because I NEVER forget the most essential part to a beef taco) “I apologize for that. Can I see the first taco? If there’s no meat in it, I’ll take it back and for sure get you a new one.”
Customer: “Oh, I ate the taco.”
What I wanted to say: “Really?! You ate the taco?! Now I know you that just want a free taco. Don’t waste my time.”
What I actually said: “I’m sorry, but if you already ate the whole taco, I can’t help you anymore. Next time, just bring it back to me when you notice the problem and I’ll be happy to fix it for you.”
Or this time:
Customer: “What’s in the Super Beef?”
Me: “Beef, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes and sour cream.”
Customer: “Okay, I’ll get that on a platter.”
Customer: (comes back about five minutes later) “I’m sorry, but this is disgusting. This platter is gross. This rice is nasty.”
Me: “I’m sorry, what’s wrong with it?”
Customer: “Well, the rice is really mushy and gross.”
Me: “Oh, it’s Spanish Rice. It’s a little mushier than regular rice. That’s how it’s supposed to look and taste.”
Customer: “I own my own restaurant. I don’t make rice like this. And I’m pretty sure there’s no such thing as Spanish Rice. And this burrito is gross.”
Me: “What’s wrong with the burrito?”
Customer: “I don’t like the sour cream.”
Me: “Well, you didn’t ask for no sour cream.”
Customer: “Oh, I mean, I’m actually allergic to it.”
Me: “The cheese on that salad didn’t affect you. And there’s cheese in the burrito.”
Customer: “Oh no, I’m only allergic to milk that comes from cream.”
What I wanted to say: “Milk that comes from cream? Are you high? And yes, Spanish Rice exists. I make it every frickin’ day here. Don’t eat over half your food and then expect a refund, because I know you just wanted to have a free meal.”
What I actually said: “I can’t give you your money back because you already ate all of the salad, half the burrito and half the rice. If it was really that gross, you should have brought it back after the first couple bites.”
These are the people that just piss me off, though. They’re not the ‘stupid’ customers I was talking about before. Some of those guys are living in a whole other world…
You’ve got your basic ones who, apparently, can’t read.
Customer: “I’d like a Super Beef and Cheese.”
Me: “We actually only have a Super Beef or a Beef and Cheese.”
Customer: “I’d like a koala, please.”
Me: “Umm…sorry, what was that?”
Customer: “A koala.”
Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have anything named that on our menu. Do you know what you were thinking of? Maybe you’ve just got the name wrong.”
Customer: “No, I order this all the time.”
Me: “Okay. Can you describe it to me at least, so I know what it is.”
Customer: “Yeah, it’s that one with cheese. You know, the koala.”
Me: “Do you know how it’s spelt?”
Customer: “Yeah. ‘Q’, ‘u’-”
Me: “Oh, a quesadilla.”
Customer: “Yeah. That’s it.”
Oh, somebody please save me…
Then there are those people that don’t understand how things work…
Customer: “So, if I get my taco in a combo, it’ll come with fries and a drink?”
Me: “Yupp. It’s the price of the taco and then you add $2.99 and you get a regular mexi-fry and a medium drink.”
Customer: “Okay, I’ll get a taco combo with Pepsi. And a medium fry.”
Me: “You want a second regular fry?”
Me: (Puts order on tray)
Customer: “I only ordered one fry.”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you wanted an order of fries on top of the combo.”
Customer: “A combo comes with fries? You never told me that.”
Some days I’m not sure if I want to set the store on fire and never look back, or laugh my face off.
Then there are the people that I serve that take away my hope for humanity. It is astonishing just how dumb some people can be. And, just so you’re aware, all of these stories are 100% true.
And now, the two funniest stories I have from my time at Taco Time.
Me: “What would you like to drink with that?”
Customer: “Do you have Dr. Pepper?”
Me: “Yes, I do.”
Customer: “Awesome. I’ll have a Pepsi, please.”
I really have nothing to say to this…
#1 (please note this was a woman around the age of thirty who was completely sober)
Customer: “I’ll get twelve beef tacos, please.”
Me: “For sure. Did you want soft or hard shell tacos?”
Customer: “I think I’ll get six hard and four soft.”
Me: “Okay. So, you only wanted ten tacos?”
Customer: “No. I need twelve. Why?”
Me: “You asked for six hard and four soft. That’s only ten tacos.”
Customer: “What?…Oh, okay. I see. I’ll get six soft and four hard.”
Me: “That’s still only ten.”
Customer: “So, If I get six hard, how many soft do I need to get twelve tacos.”
Me: “Six, ma’am.”
That is, possibly, the worst math fail I have ever experienced.
Well, I hope you enjoyed that as I much as I did.
Thanks for reading!