The trouble with university is not that I don’t like it. No, I love university. I get to take really great classes where I learn other languages (French mostly, but some Spanish and Latin as well) and I get to study really great topics (I’m majoring in Classical History).
I’m in the middle of a year-long class on Ancient Rome and it’s so incredibly interesting. The Ancient and Medieval world fascinates me, which is probably why I loved last term’s classes on Ancient Greek and Roman plays and the History of the High Middle Ages.
The trouble with school is not that I have bad profs. Quite the opposite actually. I’ve been fortunate to have awesome professors for all of my classes. They are not dull and boring, so they know how to keep me captivated and learning.
The trouble with school is not that I’m stuck in a lecture hall with 300 students. I had a chemistry class with 300 students once, but that was the only one. All my other classes range in student numbers from 16-30, which is actually not only reasonable, but pretty damn nice. I always get a chance to ask my professor if I have a question, so that’s not an issue either.
It’s not going to school that I don’t like, it’s what happens when I get home. You see, the trouble with school is all the assignments and essays that go along with it. Last term I wrote four shorter essays of 2,000 words and five fifteen page term papers. The trouble with school is that I don’t want to focus on all this homework anymore and that I don’t want to write another essay.
As I think about this, turning it over and over in my mind, I start to realize something. I don’t mind writing essays, and I actually like to do the research because I get to learn about really cool subjects. I don’t mind studying for a language exam because I love learning French and, more importantly, I love speaking French. This is when I realize that there is no problem with university.
The trouble with school is me.
I’ve been finding it hard to stay focused on one thing and I keep jumping between projects, not getting anywhere on either. After my research is done and it’s time to write that essay, I have so much difficulty actually starting that my life turns into a procrastination nightmare. Every day I tell myself it will get better, but everyday it doesn’t. I still get everything done on time and I still enjoy myself, but I always feel rushed and I feel like my grades aren’t where they could be. I’m sure many of you can relate to this, and it can cause for a lot of stress that just builds up until I get to a day where I get so upset that I don’t want to do anything school related and I start telling myself, “Well, I’ve waited this long so it can all wait another day.” (Only I use many more colourful words).
Today isn’t one of those days. I haven’t had one of those days in a while, which is why I’m thinking about it so much. It’s gotten to the point where I’m expecting it. I’m trying to work on my procrastination, but my attention is so easily averted to something else. I’ve been getting lots of writing done and I haven’t had a ‘wasted day’ in a long time. It’s just frustrating, but I know that many people procrastinate. We do it every day and it probably frustrates the hell out of you, too.
All I can say is that I will work at it, which I do. I’m just not seeing any progress. Oh well. Better luck tomorrow, right? 😉
Thanks for reading!