The Archives – What a Mess

The folder on my laptop labelled “Stories” is a lot like my closet…I never realize how much crap is in it until I start digging around. I’ve been going through my stories folder a lot lately trying to find stuff to post. There are short stories, finished novels, unfinished novels and even one document with 136 pages of poetry. To help visualize, here are some fun stats for you. When I click to view the properties of my “Stories” folder, it tells me that there are 107 sub folders within this “Stories” folder. Between those 107 folders are 1,672 files. It’s intimidating just to see that, even for me. But great as well. And, the best part about it is that the total amount of storage it takes up is less than 1 GB. Only 930 MB. Oh, Microsoft Word, I love you and how small your files are.

It really makes it easier – and a hell of a lot quicker – to transfer all these stories to new computers, and even just to back them up on a separate hard drive. Because, 1,672 files is a LOT, so I’m glad they don’t take up too much space – otherwise I’d run out of room on my computer!

Anyway, I’ve been going through a lot of stuff lately and realized that I NEVER deleted anything. We got our first computer when I was 10 years old and since then I’ve written probably 99.9% of my work on the computer. So my “Stories” folder represents just about 10 years of work…except a lot of it was written when I was young and inexperienced, so a lot of it is complete garbage – maybe not completely – but it is pretty poopy writing! That’s one of the reasons I have such a hard time finding something to post; it’s as if I swallowed a loonie (a Canadian 1$ coin, for those that didn’t know) and now I gotta dig through the crap to get the golden treasure. So, I hope you appreciate my efforts.

Another reason I have such difficulty finding stuff to post is because I can never decide…I always come across ten different things and can’t decide…so now I have a list of things I want to post that is growing exponentially! Every time I think of something else to add, I put it to the bottom of the list. I could just go crazy and start posting five things a day..but 1) that probably wouldn’t go over too well because then I’d spend all my free time on this blog (I say free time but I really mean study time) and 2) I’d run out of things to post and have to try to entertain you other ways. Believe me, I only have like five jokes/comical lines that I just keep repeating (ask my friends), so it would get very old very fast.

Well the whole point of this post was really to brag about the size of my story folder. It’s funny that I’m bragging about that when there are other guys (like in the showers after high school gym class) who brag about the size of other things… which I never really understood and don’t really want to get into a discussion about right now. I just prefer not to talk about penises (yet they ALWAYS seem to pop up in my posts…).

That reminds me of this hilarious, yet slightly awkward conversation I had with a friend once. I have a Filipino friend who just moved to Canada last year. He’s in grade 12 right now and…as most of you probably know, the kids in high school (or teens, whatever) are not only immature, but grossly inappropriate. I’ve been out of high school almost 2 years and I’m still this way, so I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll ever grow out of it. That, however, is beside the point. Back to my story.  My Filipino friend, because he’s new to Canada, is still learning and fine-tuning his English. They learn some in the Philippines, but they really don’t prepare you for what you’ll hear at high school (or talking to me).

Anyways, he always asks me about things he hears that he doesn’t understand. For instance, he’s asked me for definitions of sarcasm, elder and various other words. And then every time I swear he asks what it means (now he’s addicted to swearing), and the same when I make a dirty joke or innuendo. And he’d hear these things at school, too. One day we were hanging out and he asked me what it meant when the ‘guys at school’ say: “I want to bone her.” So I explained what it meant and told him they say bone because of a boner. Then he asked me what a boner was. After my laughter subsided, I said, “Well, it’s just another name for an erection.” I started laughing, and he had a blank look on his face and replied, “Erection. What’s that?” I should’ve seen that one coming. So I had to explain to him and we both laughed for a very long time – I think he was a little embarrassed. All I can say is, thank god he only asked for a verbal explanation…

Now I better shut up before I say too much (like I always seem to do) and start offending (again, like I always seem to), and back pedal this discussion to the part where I was actually talking about writing. For the sake of making a title relevant to the piece of writing I’m going to post, I’ll include the story in a separate post. Thanks for reading,

Till Next,

-Will

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Categories: Life, Writing | 2 Comments

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2 thoughts on “The Archives – What a Mess

  1. And I thought MY hard drive was bad (by which I mean GOOD– 107 subfolders means loads of material)!!! Having too much to choose from is an awesome place to be. Congrats and good luck in your future writing endeavors!

    Also, about your friend…reminded me of my experience in Japan. A mate of mine said she hated Ls and Rs because she was always mixing them up– particularly (more than once) confusing “election” with “erection”!!!

    • Hey, thanks for the nice comments. And I liked your story…notice how it’s much more succinct than mine? I just ramble, and ramble, and ramble…But thanks for reading and I hope I can keep you interested. 🙂

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